What's the Job?

Forgive my indulgence in a niche TikTok sound my friend group absolutely enjoyed but, more importantly, it's quite the question to need an answer to fresh off of turning 36. Especially when midlife is around the corner and the all to clichéd feeling of a potential career change weighs heavy. How I arrived in this precarious situation is important context but that is tea to be spilled at a different time, or perhaps with a more flippant attitude on the right day.

Growing up in the middle class, especially born to young parents, I witnessed the challenges of revolving jobs when the major life event of a kid, and then another, changes timelines and priorities. One of the biggest things my father strived for was for his sons to not end up in that position. He supported us in his efforts for my brother and I to find a career so that we would both start on a more firm ground. All in the hopes that one less thing we would have to sort out in the hopes of carving out a livable time. Yet, here I find myself with the anxiety of the age of 40 right around the corner.

I do have to note that my father has found a job that I believe will let him carve out some kind of security when he, hopefully, finally gets to retire and can have some sort of security blanket to at least have a few golden years. I'm sure we've all seen the meme of celebrities and the later start they got before achieving their success, or have heard other sorts of attempts at peace of mind that you can make a change and may even be due to blossom, but it still bring upon anxiety until you're on the other side.

Nearly 20 years in a career and thinking it's time for a change is quite the fork in the road to arrive at but it's not a decision you arrive at easily if your eyes are open. I have several peers that have faced the same decision and moved on. In an industry that's cannibalizing itself the hard ceiling is a reality. Even if another opportunity presented itself would it just be pushing off this difficult decision and then facing the same decisions at later time when the panic of potentially less time would be even more paralyzing?

It's almost nine years to the day that I was unemployed and very much had to evaluate what the next step would be. I had people in my camp that suggested a switch up was the right choice after 'betting wrong' on the job I lost. Ironically, there will be similar sentiments to my current situation, ones that I wouldn't have an argument against. Nearly a decade younger, through brute stubbornness, I kept this career path alive and went on to have my most successful stints and carved out a decent living. So why not do it again when at 36 I have nearly ten more years experience and track record?

While persistence did get me nearly ten more years there is still the nagging feeling that a switch of the track may ultimately be down the road still leaving the opportunity to perhaps give myself time for a do over. Also, what exactly would that persistence lead to if I see a hard ceiling on this particular career? Staying in my chosen career because it's all I've ever known but having very limited options for growth for 'job security?' While most don't want a job just for a paycheck I don't believe I really have to dive too far into that not being an option on the table. So then how do I find fulfillment, opportunities for growth and happiness?

The thing that keeps circling around my mind is going to school to carve a new path. However, going to college takes on quite the baggage in normal circumstances, yet we find ourselves in a more tumultuous time. If that is the choice, where do I find the starting point? At 18 you feel like you have all the time in the world and indecision is expected, though it comes with a price. Twice that age, it doesn't feel like you can sort through that.

What about reapplying skills I have for an off chute career path instead of a brand new one? I think this is certainly an option that many in media/advertising field have been able to pivot with but certain in demand skills have never been my favorite parts of the career I had. Admitely that feels more like nitpicking but while facing the choice of potentially a fresh start it's hard not have a bit of a romantic feeling towards a fresh canvas...before the panic quickly returns of “What the hell am I going to do?”

The first time I found myself facing my career mortality the blinders were up, youthful stubbornness at refusing to accept that just getting started was the wrong decision. The second time I certainly hear the pessimistic corners of my brain saying “It was a good run but it's over.” I think it's a natural reaction to the rose colored glasses coming off and also some introspection into the questions of 'What did I want to get out of it? What does 20 more years this career look like?' and ultimately 'Will I be happy?'

Difficult decisions looming means for the sake of your sanity you have to fall back on your belief system to resist falling into the pit of despair. Whether it's faith, karma or just turning a negative into a positive perseverance always will be a key into the human condition. So that is what I remind all, but especially myself, because it's always toughest when your on the side of the ball needing to be pushed up the hill before it begins to roll downhill.